A random conversation with my offspring yesterday morning…
OS: That guy’s always sitting there.
Me: Perhaps he’s Guardian of the Milk Crates.
OS: Maybe he’s waiting for Jesus.
Me: Well if Jesus ever shows up at a convenience store, you be sure to let me know.
OS: You know that even if it’s a guy that looks like Jesus, I’m still calling you.
Me: And what would he look like?
OS: You know, he floats down on a cloud, with long flowing hair, wearing sunglasses and playing a guitar.
Me: On his own personal cloud?
OS: Of course, he’s Jesus. And they’re epic aviator sunglasses like 4 sizes too big.
Me: Is he black or white?
OS: He’s white.
Me: Why can’t he be black?
OS: Cause he’s got long flowing hair. If he was black he’d just have a ginormous afro.
Me: And he’s playing a guitar.
OS: With lightning coming out of his fingers, like this. (He starts playing his air guitar, minus the lightning). And he’d be the best guitarist ever.
Me: Clearly you’ve never heard Jimmy Page.
OS: It’s a bass guitar.
Me: Why a bass guitar?
OS: ‘Cause nobody likes the bassist. It’s the lead guitarist that gets all the chicks. But if Jesus played bass, he would make it cool.
Me: The force is strong in you, my son.
Warning – aviators may be larger than they appear.
OS: And we could start a new religion and call it Musicology. I bet people would follow it.
Me: I’m sure they would. But no Kool-Aid at the picnics, ok?
Yes, I’ve warped his mind. But he makes me laugh on a daily basis. I make him laugh too, and sometimes I don’t even have to threaten violence first.
Insert witticism here... 
July 11th, 2012 at 3:55 pm
Tina Weymouth is a bassist, and she is way cool.
July 11th, 2012 at 4:27 pm
Was never a big Talking Heads fan, but I can appreciate talent.
July 10th, 2012 at 11:53 pm
Ha, I never had talks like this with my mom.
July 11th, 2012 at 12:03 am
Clearly you were raised in a stable environment.
July 10th, 2012 at 2:00 pm
I love it. I have the same exchanges with my daughter. Thanks to me she’ll never be normal. Muahahahaha.
July 10th, 2012 at 2:06 pm
I’m glad I’m not the only slightly deranged parent with a slightly deranged kid out there. lol Anyway, normalcy is way overrated.
July 10th, 2012 at 2:09 pm
My daughter was marching around the kitchen today yelling, “Kitchen eat, Kitchen Drink, A hairy badger will steal your necklace!” I’m not sure what the hell she was talking about, but I couldn’t stop laughing.
July 10th, 2012 at 2:12 pm
Sounds like a chant. Perhaps she’s succumbed to the power of Musicology. And I probably should have mentioned, my son is 18.
July 10th, 2012 at 2:21 pm
I’m not sure if that makes it funnier or not.
July 10th, 2012 at 3:19 pm
Yes, I knew he was older based on the content of what he was saying, but I recognized the path my daughter is headed down due to my insanity. LOL. She’s very smart actually. She’s already created three robots which she drew the diagrams for. She’s only 5 so to me that’s great. At 5 I was probably more interested in playing with my He-Man action figures.
July 10th, 2012 at 3:22 pm
I still miss She-Ra.
July 10th, 2012 at 11:20 am
I would be a follower… Great post….
July 10th, 2012 at 11:28 am
Thanks so much! You get to hold the guitar pick.