A random conversation with my offspring yesterday morning…
OS: That guy’s always sitting there.
Me: Perhaps he’s Guardian of the Milk Crates.
OS: Maybe he’s waiting for Jesus.
Me: Well if Jesus ever shows up at a convenience store, you be sure to let me know.
OS: You know that even if it’s a guy that looks like Jesus, I’m still calling you.
Me: And what would he look like?
OS: You know, he floats down on a cloud, with long flowing hair, wearing sunglasses and playing a guitar.
Me: On his own personal cloud?
OS: Of course, he’s Jesus. And they’re epic aviator sunglasses like 4 sizes too big.
Me: Is he black or white?
OS: He’s white.
Me: Why can’t he be black?
OS: Cause he’s got long flowing hair. If he was black he’d just have a ginormous afro.
Me: And he’s playing a guitar.
OS: With lightning coming out of his fingers, like this. (He starts playing his air guitar, minus the lightning). And he’d be the best guitarist ever.
Me: Clearly you’ve never heard Jimmy Page.
OS: It’s a bass guitar.
Me: Why a bass guitar?
OS: ‘Cause nobody likes the bassist. It’s the lead guitarist that gets all the chicks. But if Jesus played bass, he would make it cool.
Me: The force is strong in you, my son.
OS: And we could start a new religion and call it Musicology. I bet people would follow it.
Me: I’m sure they would. But no Kool-Aid at the picnics, ok?
Yes, I’ve warped his mind. But he makes me laugh on a daily basis. I make him laugh too, and sometimes I don’t even have to threaten violence first.