While the White People Watch

Is that a club in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

I would have made a terrible feminist.  I couldn’t bear to part with my bra, let alone burn it.  Do you have any idea how expensive those things are?  Victoria’s got a secret all right, and it’s damn well going to cost you.  And even if I were tempted to jump on the flaming brassiere train, going free bird could be disastrous.  Sure, it’s all fun and games until somebody loses an eye, namely me, and I can’t afford to take that kind of time off work.  Besides, we’ve made significant strides over the years.  Hell, we can even vote now.

So no, I’m not a feminist.  However, I couldn’t help but get my g-string in a knot when I learned that CBC had partnered with “While the Men Watch”, and will offer their online broadcast during the final series of the Stanley Cup Playoffs.

Described as “Sex in the City meets ESPN”, (which if you ask me should be about horse racing), this talk-show allegedly offers “alternative” sports commentary geared toward women.  With topics such as “Love me like Lundqvist: 5 Sex Games for Hockey Season” and “6 Things NOT to Say if His Team Loses”, how could any woman not tune in?  Quite easily, I assure you.

Two dudes in their basement, a la Wayne’s World, offering fashion advice to coaches who’s ties clash or ranking players according to degree of hotness, would be funny. Two women creating and providing commentary in all seriousness on a show like this is just sad. I would say they’re offside, but they wouldn’t understand it anyway.

Their website proudly states that a whopping 2,000 listeners tuned in to their broadcast during Superbowl XVLI, (that’s the number 46 for those women who are unable to decipher Roman numerals but still want to impress their man). 2,000, compared to 111.3 million. Yeah, there’s a huge market out there.

Verb: to jersey

I suppose I can’t fault the pair for their entrepreneurial idea, even if they do sound like raving bimbos. As much as I’d like to jersey each one of them, they took their idea and ran with it; right into the arms of one Canadian Broadcasting Corporation.

The CBC. The federally funded national public radio and television station. The very same station who only last month announced that due to a $225 million shortfall, would be forced to cancel programming and cut 650 jobs over the next 3 years. And yet my tax dollars can afford to bring on two women who clearly belong barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.

CBC of course justified their decision stating “it just captures the kind of conversation that happens in living rooms and bars across the country when hockey is on”. Let me ask you Julie Bristow, executive director of studio and unscripted programming, when was the last time you were in a bar to watch a hockey game? Perhaps you should get out more. Go burn your bra or something.

This is not going to expand your customer base. All you’ve managed to do is insult credible female commentators and analysts who worked their asses off, along with women who genuinely love sports.

Sure, I don’t have to listen to it, nor will I, but I can still be offended by it.

Why stop at women?  Canada is a melting pot of opportunity. “Tune in during game one of the Stanley Cup playoffs for CBC’s premier broadcast of While the White People Watch“.  Need I say more?

Canadian Bimbos Calling