Please don’t let them die.

Is there anything more tragic than a singer who has passed away?

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

For years, or at least a few weeks on the Billboard Hot 100, we danced and sang along and illegally downloaded their music, and then all of a sudden, (after a 5-year-long battle with Ebola), they are taken from us.  Gone to the big amphitheatre in the sky, or the mosh pit down below.  Either way, they will be sorely missed.

Or not.

Honestly, whenever I hear the news that a singer has had their final curtain call, I cringe.  I dread the weeks, months, even years to come where every other song on the radio is sung by the dearly departed, even if they haven’t had a hit single since the Bronze Age.

What’s even scarier is that it’s usually the same bloody song that gets all the play.  Is there a big Let’s-Get-All-the-Radio-Programmers/DJ’s-Together-to-Discuss-What-Song-We’re-Going-to-Inundate-the-Public-With Conference after someone dies?  For example, I’ve heard Donna Summer’s “Last Dance” more on the radio in the past 2 weeks than I have in my entire life.  I was six when the song was released.  I was recently at a club and when it began.  People started slow dancing.  They didn’t even recognize the damn song, (it seriously looked like a grade 10 dance had broken out), .  Once the tempo picked up though, it was a free-for-all.  People dancing and screaming like they might actually be able to raise her from the dead.  I can tell you one thing, if they had, most of them wouldn’t have recognized her.  And no, not because she’d look kinda scary or be just a pile of ashes.  Because they had no clue who she was before she died!

Whitney.  Amy.  I’m sorry that you were addicts, but must I now turn to drugs to escape from your music?

And now, a follow-up announcement.  Some of you may be shocked.  I may lose friends and followers alike, but I can no longer live a lie.  I’m also sick of hearing Michael Jackson.  Don’t get me wrong, I like Mike.  Well Thriller/Dangerous Mike anyway.  I drank Pepsi.  I could dance the zombie routine without missing a beat.  Does this mean I have to hear a Michael Jackson set of the same songs every time I go out?  I’ll turn in my glove if someone would just make it stop.

I have noticed a trend, though.  Apparently this rule only applies to soloists.  The radio is drastically silent when it comes to bands who’ve lost a member.  Must be “Sabotage”.

And just so you know, there are approximately 239,741 things more tragic than the death of a singer, but that’s just a rough estimate.

Advertisements