While I would love to entertain you with the tale of my adventures over the past year; laying the groundwork for a new salt mine at the foot of the Himalayas; single-handedly saving an ancient sea turtle from an abandoned fishing net whilst snorkelling in Hanauma Bay; or the time I met Michael Fassbender while he was filming in Liechtenstein and after a brief romantic tryst he became obsessed with me and a bitter separation ensued; alas, I cannot. I’ve signed a confidentiality agreement.
Just kidding. None of that is true. Although