I remember it like it was yesterday.
Actually, I can barely remember yesterday so let me start again.
I remember it like it was 4 minutes ago. I was visiting my cousins in Tulsa, and alone in the house because they’d gone grocery shopping, when a tornado warning appeared on the television.
There was no break in regularly scheduled programming. No “This is a message from the Emergency Broadcast System”. Just a nonchalant box in the top right corner showing a little map of the where you may not want to be if the funnels of doom touch down. Where was the warning of imminent death and destruction? The sirens? The army marshaling people to the nearest underground bunker/missile silo? Wouldn’t it be more appropriate for James Earl Jones’ voice to come booming through the television telling people to flee for their lives?
One minute I’m happily surfing through the multitude of channels that are not offered north of the border, the next I’m plotting the quickest escape route and packing a survival kit. And I had no idea where they kept their flares.
While simultaneously trying to start the generator and calculating the length of time and dimensions required to dig an underground shelter that will house two adults and one neurotic teenager, my cousins came home.
We were in no danger. The little map only warns of the possibility of a tornado. There was no need to panic and could I please put the shovel down. Ungrateful bastards. Continue reading