I like fences. Fences separate one area from another. They establish territorial boundaries, without having to pee on a fire-hydrant. There’s no mistaking the objective of a fence. Just ask an inmate.
9.0 – 9.5 – 9.2
Plus anyone can build a fence.
The real talent is being able to sit on one. Depending on the fence itself, it could be a balancing act worthy of an Olympic medalist. You’re continuously one sneeze away from what I’m sure would be a very ungraceful drop, or being ousted by a giant squirrel, and my money’s on this guy.
So congratulations to you Starbucks. You’re the Cirque du Soleil of fence-sitting.
Starbucks has asked its customers to leave their guns at home.
How exactly did that internal memo read anyway? Something like this, perhaps
A random conversation with my offspring yesterday morning…
OS: That guy’s always sitting there.
Me: Perhaps he’s Guardian of the Milk Crates.
OS: Maybe he’s waiting for Jesus.
Me: Well if Jesus ever shows up at a convenience store, you be sure to let me know.
OS: You know that even if it’s a guy that looks like Jesus, I’m still calling you.
Me: And what would he look like?
OS: You know, he floats down on a cloud, with long flowing hair, wearing sunglasses and playing a guitar.
Me: On his own personal cloud?
OS: Of course, he’s Jesus. And they’re epic aviator sunglasses like 4 sizes too big.
Me: Is he black or white? Continue reading
Noun: An institution for educating children, or a large group of fish or sea mammals
Personally, I’m in favour of the fish. Fish are quiet. You don’t have to worry about hurting a fish’s feelings. Fish don’t have parents that whine and complain about the treatment of their offspring. (Not to imply that all fish are bastards, just that the parental units have bigger things to fry). Oh, and you can eat a fish.
Most importantly, a fisherman can’t be suspended for fishing, (unless of course, he’s unlicensed and/or fishing for an endangered species or something). Whereas, if you’re a teacher working for the Edmonton School Board, you can actually be suspended for teaching.
In a bitter twist of irony, a teacher at Ross Sheppard High School was suspended last week for trying to teach his students that their actions have consequences.
Unlike when my Aunt got the strap for writing with her left hand, (the consequence of a sore palm outweighing the consequence of being burned at the stake), Mr. Lynden Dorval had the gall to give a failing grade to students who did not complete assignments.
I’ll repeat, more slowly and using smaller words. Students that did not do their work were given a zero.
A travesty, to be sure!
According to the school board, penalizing students for not completing their work is against policy. Read on
There’s definitely something to be said for the validation of strangers. Creepy, could be one way of putting it. Perhaps a tad stalker-ish. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to find out whether a restraining order is applicable online. I have put a motion forward to have it addressed at my next town hall meeting.
Of course, I jest.
This is my plaque. There are many others like it, but this one is mine.
It’s the awesomest thing ever!
I have been presented with an award. There wasn’t really a red carpet or a ceremony or anything, which is just as well because my gown is at the cleaners). But there is a plaque! See?
The Liebster Blog Award is a completely fictitious but no less awesome award bestowed upon bloggers with less than 200 followers, (why do I feel like I’m one of the unpopular kids all over again), by their fellow bloggers. And I am one of its recipients.
In other words, “You like me. Right now, you like me!” And there is much rejoicing.
There are also rules. This goes against my anarchist upbringing, but I shall make an exception in this case so as not to appear ungrateful.
Here they are: The anticipation is killing me!